Mortgage providers want to help their clients, and they have programs designed to help homeowners get through a financial crisis. But many women who have suffered a recent job loss are afraid that asking for help will hurt them in the long run.

HomeFree-USA recently held a focus group with women across Maryland who have been affected by federal government layoffs. Black women have been particularly hard hit, as employment in the federal government dropped by 168,000 in October and November alone.

During the roundtable discussion, women shared how their lives have been turned upside down.

• Despite cutting back on spending, they don’t have enough money coming in.
• They put on a “happy face” around children while inside they feel depressed.
• They’re dealing daily with rejection and frustration in a competitive job market with too few opportunities.

The emotion that describes their plight most: Fear.

• Fear of no income.
• Fear that they will be judged.
• Fear of letting their families down.
• Fear of calling their mortgage companies to discuss options.

Though mortgage companies have programs that can help homeowners who are experiencing financial hardship, more than a third of the homeowners in the focus group said they had not reached out to their mortgage company because they were afraid.

“I worry about being judged or pressured,” one woman said. “I want to explain my situation honestly but I’m afraid they won’t be understanding.”

Some even feared their home would be taken away if they told their lender about their job loss.

There were some women in the focus group who did contact their mortgage provider, but the call didn’t go as they hoped.

Some described stressful, long hold times. Others said they received inconsistent answers from customer service representatives. Some complained about rigid policies and confusing programs.

Focus group members said they need:

• Clear, empathetic communication from servicers
• Direct financial relief or temporary payment flexibility
• Compassion

“Understand that job loss is not just a financial setback,” one woman said. “It affects people’s lives, families, and mental health. Treat us with empathy, flexibility, and real support during these challenging times.”

Another woman summed it up, saying: “See us. Hear us. Don’t treat us like numbers.”